Depression!

i donno wether anyone blogged abt such a topic before.I dont think anyone else could have been depressed like me....i dont want to tell u anything in dis post, just want u to know how it feels wen u r depressed...starting with let me tell u y do i get depressed...many reasons come under dis like wen i dont get something i desperately want, wen my favourite ppl avoid me, wen somebody abuses me more dan i just cant take and wen some one say if my parents had a boy instead of me.Den i get depressed....

nxt phase would b horrible....i cry...untill i drain all tears out of my eyes....untill dey swell....untill i get tired of wiping my tears and just allow dem to fall through my cheeks.
I dont feel like talking to anyone. My apetite dies, i forget how to chew and just swallow food.It taste like water absolutely taste less....i feel lyk throwing up wen i eat more dan 2 spoons.... i dont care abt how i look...i sometimes dont do my hair for days....dont wash my face....dont apply any sort of cosmetics...i hate to watch myself in mirror....and wen i stare at mirror i feel lyk throwing something at dat and smash it to peices....i hate light...i dont want to open the windows and doors...no fresh air....

i get horrible vissions...mostly dat a cat is so close to me staring at me...lot of cats around and as though dey are just about to attack....every ni8 i just get up shouting trembling with fear and shaking....it takes hell lot of time to sleep properly again.... i feel terribly lonely...though i am at a party i feel neglected...i fel i dont matter to ppl anymore...i try to gain attention and if i fail...i stop talking to everyone....

bein like dis for few days...suddenly i eat lot of sweet....chocolates, icecream and anything which is sweet...i feel a kind of relief wen something very sweet touches my tounge. it heals some part den gradually i come out...actually i push out of dat stage...

ppl say lot of love and care is required to get out of depression but if der was so much love and care y would i get depressed??? i wish god gave everything we want...i wish we only remember god just to thank him and not to ask or weep infront of him...i wish i get wat all i wantand never b in such a state...i wish u get wat all u want too....and der is no such a word called DEPRESSION!!!